Ernest Bevin College Sports Hypnosis

Table Tennis
In a recent session at the college eight table tennis players participated. This session was more about preparation for competition and so we focussed on immediate preparation, challenging competition scenarios, triggers and anchoring for positive mental and physical boost.

We have our first individual success story! We have been working with one particular player throughout the sessions, and I was pleased at the news below from Mark, the Head Coach at Ernest Bevin College.

One player particularly always impressed us at LCCH as having a good attitude and some creative ideas around the mental side of the game. I was pleasantly surprised that he has made the strides described below. I hope we played a small part in his progress.

Mark Smith the Head Coach says:

“A player is now emerging with a outstanding mindset and work rate which is great to work. He has taken over top spot in the School and shows no signs of just being a big fish in a small pond.

He was neck and neck with the junior number 6 in England last week and he has two and a half more years in this age group.

I am now planning to send him to France in the summer for 5 weeks training with a professional club 6 hours per day.

I feel he would benefit with a one to one with you as there are mental things he needs to work on which involves calming himself down when the pressure is on – he gets too pumped and sometimes doesn’t see the opening chances due to tension creeping in.

Some new players are now also coming through and still 4 or 5 of the old players are training regularly”

Competition Update – to the end of 2011
Mark told me it is always a whirlwind of highs and lows at these events, and it would be great to get LCCH motivation coaches along to one at some point in the near future.

Mark wants to instil more team spirit ethic, knowing how it can be such a powerful motivator in team matches.

At one event last year performance wise they were always up against it, playing generally a bit above their level. They did ok getting some unexpected wins. Mark said “Losses didn’t affect their willingness to keep fighting though which was good to see.”

Mark still believe they can do better just by changing their mindsets and having more togetherness as a squad. Self belief and confidence of their own abilities always appears to be greater among their opponents than our players. Some players showed new depths not seen before.

Competition preparation
It is all about mindset and individual self-belief. Somehow the players are going to have to blast through the idea that they are up against bigger opposition, and appreciate the power of being in a squad. They have to get that feeling that they can puff their chests out and really take control of the competition and their individual game. I think they have to learn to “rate” each other as players, and encourage and support each other more. They need competition toughness and pride.

Eight players participated in one session. This session was more about preparation for competition and so we focussed on immediate preparation, challenging competition scenarios and triggers and anchoring for positive mental and physical boost. There was a quick check on whether they had been working on their goals, and a review of previous sessions regarding the need to practice mental preparation techniques.

Some aspects also covered included how players could extend “best day” performance into weekends competition and developing and allowing a balance between tension/relaxation and alertness/focussed concentration. We covered more detailed mental game play approaches and suggested a post-match diary or log book to discuss with Coach.

The session was well received and we worked with a former table tennis England number 1 and European player.

Football

We have also provided hints and tips for use with a school football team

We were asked by a local therapist the best approach to give a children’s football team with regard to some group hypnotherapy to help their motivation and morale.

As they are 9 and 10 years old, informed consent will be gained and their parents will be asked to stay for the session too.

Important steps are:
to work with the teacher/coach to establish goals
find out what the kids want to achieve
look at their match schedule and agree some basic aims, show them how to support each other
ensure they have fun and are not hard on themselves
identify any emotional or stress issues the kids might be having and allay their concerns
heaps of encouragement
and as with all things, celebrate successes and boost their self-esteem

I find that 9 and 10 year olds are very enthusiastic about trying new activities and engage well with ways to motivate through metaphor. There are some great techniques for children, keeping the session short and getting out on the pitch to observe them play in between.

There are specific steps to take with regards to parent involvement and influence, and to bring them on side (pardon the pun!).

Motivation sessions only really need an hour, and so the first session might be to set the scene and develop the rapport with the kids and any parents that attend. It would then be possible to drop into their training session, and just work with each child, or groups of kids on specific aspects of their game (chat to the coach on what is current and what he needs before each session).

Kids will tell you their challenge, no need to be direct about it. Leave them with activities agreed with their coach which are relevant to the game. I find with kids the motivational talks help and you can inspire by what you say. Think of ways you can make an input in between training activities or game play. Children love stories, and also visualization.

I rarely need a whole hours input when I’m working with kids, but split this up into 20 minutes slots. I work alongside the coaches training plan for the day.

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So you want to start a business?

So you want to start a business?

(Editorial based on a question and answer at British Library UK Entrepreneur Network in Linkedin, and A4e London Enterprise group,  acknowledgements to contributors.)
I help people who want to start a business. I deliver workshops every week, and meet all sorts of very different people. They all have one thing in common -they have the ambition to start up their own business.
I begin by telling them that starting a business is life changing. That sets the scene nicely.
I then tell them that they have to be prepared to work hard, to develop the right qualities and attitude. They need to be hard working, determined, motivated and enthusiastic. They need to understand some of the risk; financially and how relationships can be affected.

There is always an abundance of good people to help you as you start up, start with your current plan, work towards your goal, be flexible on how you will achieve things, work hard and consistently on doing the right things. Be decisive; make decisions, junk stuff that is not working. Maintain your positive self-belief. Be proud of what you are doing every day.

Be focused and passionate about what you want to do in regards to the business that you want to start. Research as much as you can into you market, cost, what you need and work hard. Ensure you try and get the correct business structure at the beginning (sole trader, a limited company, partnership, a CIC etc).

Not all businesses require you to be a born salesperson, but all business people will need to learn to communicate about their product or service, and have a well practised patter about how their business can help or benefit their customer. Focus on your selling proposition.

Having a mentor always helps someone who has run their own successful business. Stay 100% focused and don’t be too proud to take advice.

Learn to network. Join a networking group, there are many and varied good groups out there. Get talking to other businesses and build your network of contacts. Constantly hone your selling proposition until you are clear what you can offer.

Get the business plan in place, the basic structure which should be scaleable. Driving sales and improving profits/profile can come once the foundations are there.

Make sure you get your marketing sorted. It’s the key to your success.

Before you start networking etc, it’s important to firstly find out where your ideal prospective clients ‘hang out’, otherwise you’ll be networking just for the sake of networking. Follow this simple (but effective) marketing plan:

Market – Message – Media

Market:
Build up a ‘client profile’. Start to formulate a picture of your ideal client such as their age, ethnicity, location, buying styles – the demographics of your audience. Similarly, focus on the psychographics of the market place i.e. his or her perceived wants, aspirations and values.

Message:
Next, craft a compelling and meaningful message which appeals directly to your market. Many business owners do not get the response they hope from their marketing, simply because they are not matching the right message to their audience.

The key then is to talk to your audience, and about your audience. Remember, most people are permanently tuned into one and only one frequency: W.I.I.F.M, which stands for “What’s In It For Me”.

Media:
Having already completed the ‘market’ section, you should have a clear understanding of where your audience metaphorically hangs out, and so have a better idea of the most appropriate media to use. A word of warning: do not always ‘follow the herd’. For example, just because your competitors are to be seen advertising in the local newspaper, doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for you.  Most of your competitors won’t know if any one promotional activity is a good investment or not.

Break your business into its components. You have two components

1. Building the product/service

2. Getting customers

You can fit sales, mkt, pr, branding etc under ‘2’ and hire tech, platforms, etc under ‘1’, i.e everything should fall into one of those two buckets. You may ask “What about VAT registration, accounting etc”, you do not need to contemplate those things until you are making money.

Now pick the one you are weakest at (If you are weak at both, pick ‘2’) and start to work on that.

If you’ve already have in mind what you want to build on, start now  create the brand name around you in peoples memory so that when they see you it will click to their mind immediately what you are, because your business is your name. Then by the time you will have the cash to fully set up, marketing will be made easy to you. It’s not easy but enthusiasm will see you through.

• Ready,  Aim, Fire Get started!

Useful links

Check out www.thestartupcrowd.com Will be a good place to get some extra face to face advice, mentoring and do some active problem solving with fellow entrepreneurs and business mentors

45 Year Old Millionaire Make Money Online Blog – My journey to wealth and riches or an embarrassing site documenting financial failure trying to make money online!

http://www.45-year-old-millionaire.co.uk/claiming-working-tax-credit-instead-of-job-seekers-allowance-income-support.html

Suggest you check out this article. Just briefly talks about enthusiasm and selling as an important part of any business http://www.accounting-help.co.uk/news/news/101-things-you-need-to-know


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Fantastic parenting show today – stay at home dads, setting boundaries, culture and respect

We had a great show on RedShiftRadio with @PeterMabbutt@RealMumtazH  @WellTree

It was great to be part of this gathering, and I must mention Martin Tunstall, soon to be stay at home dad who called in and gave a great account of he and his wife’s plans for their soon to be born baby.

Listen to the show here. Meanwhile please visit PACCT (Parents Against Consumer Culture Today) 

Full manifesto is below:

PACCT Manifesto

CHILDREN NEED:

PARENTS and NOT WANNABE ‘BEST FRIENDS’! Children need parents who are pro-active and use their Parent-Power to make a difference for their children and for their future lives! Children need parents who will work together to build a positive critical mass in our families, schools and communities. Children should not be left alone to combat the ‘Consumer Kid’ culture in order to fit in, feel safe and even feel ‘good’ about themselves.

AUTHORITY. As Parents we have the authority and reponsibility to take control, to set up boundaries and provide appropriate limits for our children. Working together as PACCT Parents we can agree on common ‘reasonable’ limits on spending and activities for our children – including television and internet access. This will go a long way to help to protect our children from the ‘Consumer Kid’ trap!

REASONABLE, RELATED, RESPECTFUL and consistently applied DISCIPLINE. This builds in our children the resilience, self-assurance and ability to recover from mistakes and setbacks so that they can take responsibility and learn from these experiences. Children need to feel confident in our love and know that we are there to support them but we are not there to make excuses or shield them from accepting and learning from the consequences of their actions.

EDUCATION that they value and that we as parents are seen to whole-heartedly endorse. Good behaviour should be the expectation and short term ‘reward’ systems are best abandoned in favour of brain friendly methods that engage children and that they see as effective and fair. Children quickly learn that tangible rewards are the biggest con out, acting as a disincentive to most, and worse leading to a ‘What’s in it for ME’ mind-set!

NURTURING. Children cannot bring themselves up effectively. Children need relationships with people who care and who regard their well-being, not just their ‘happiness’, as crucial. The healthiest brains are those with strong neural connections. Strong neural connections require strong relationship connections! Our job is to keep enduring connection with our children so they flourish and learn how to make wise and affirming relationships with others.

TOUGH LOVE. Children need unconditional love and that means making a conscious decision to give them the best parenting we can. We are the Parents and our children need to know that we will listen and carefully consider their views. However, what they want may not be right for them or possible for the family to provide. In Family Discussions or Meetings children can see their parents and siblings facing challenges themselves and so learn that accepting reality with grace is part of life!

SECURITY and a SENSE OF FEELING ‘SAFE’ to promote self-confidence but we need to remember that Life is neither fair nor safe! Preventing our children from risk taking and from facing all potential danger is not only impossible but will not help equip them for the future. Judicious expansion of boundaries and responsibilites as they grow, allows children gain the skills to meet challenges with confidence, make informed judgments and aquire the ability to say “NO” – its the best we can do!

download the manifesto here

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Social Media – two useful business lessons

I have learnt to really useful business lessons about Social Media this week.

Lesson 1 – follow the rule and then try the exception if that doesn’t get results

In social media and in business, there is a reason why the same advice is dolled out repeatedly. Advice such as keep your accounts up to date, or book keep, customer is always right, focus on what you do best, etc. After several trial and error attempts at developing graphics and banners for my social media sites I hired a web design specialist and saved myself hours of work and was able to use the banner across all of my social media platforms, facebook, twitter, facebook, and even forums and outlook.

Lesson 2 – Know your online social audience, or choose a theme to keep your audience’s needs in mind

Posting useful and interesting articles and tips to your network. I have been posting all types of information. I have just started a group for people interested in running a business, and because I know them I am able to post useful ideas and tips to them. Not only that but I now have them in mind whenever I come across anything useful, whether personal motivation or to help in their business. My facebook page for enterprise is now populated with useful information.

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When the show came to Enfield Town

Mayor of London, Boris Johnson popped over to Enfield Town today to survey the aftermath of the rioting and looting that had occurred over the last few days. Emerging out of Enfield Town rail station this afternoon he was immediately surrounded by local shoppers, shop keepers and politicians.  He spent some time doing interviews and talking to everyone, and then made his way to local shops on the main high street to speak to shop owners.

I decided today that I would venture out with my two sons to the Town to do some errands and speak to some of the local shop keepers I knew in the Town. We saw the same picture as in many local areas – the smashed shop fronts, some of which were already under repair, flame scarred pavements and temporary repairs. I was chatting to the owner of Good Looking Optics in the Town about his experiences and how he had been staying late to ensure his shop remained intact over the last few nights. He was so pleased how the other night, a 500 strong crowd had marched from the Town to Ponders End and beyond as a show of support to the local residents and business community. Then I spotted Boris and so we headed across to see what he had to say…

Nice gesture

When we got to the main crowd, both my kids by my side, Acting Commissioner of Police, Tim Godwin  reached forward and gestured to my 15 year old son to come forward so that he could see Boris at a closer distance. My son introduced himself to Commissioner Godwin, and they had a 15 minute chat, he seemed genuinely interested and also gave lots of reassurance about the resources being put in place in the aftermath in London.

I walked over to Boris, introduced myself, shook hands and suggested he go over to speak to the shopkeepers, and in his Boris-striding fashion he said “Yes, let’s go over and speak to the shop keepers” and promptly marched off to the high street shops with the growing crowd in tow. “Get your act together Boris” said one of the onlookers, I thought he was better than yesterday when he was visibly lost for words in a Clapham High Street.

Hell has descended

We left the scene and went over to a local care home to say hello to my mum ready to tell people what was occurring in the Town. One of the staff had been in Tottenham when the looting had first kicked off. He had popped into Asda to do his usual weekend shopping and when he came out thought that hell had descended. He could see smoke, fires burning, people screaming, buses and rows of cars alight. He also saw people running down from the top floor of the burning bus. He was immediately set upon by five young men, knocked to the ground his wallet and cards stolen, he was powerless to resist the speed with which it all happened.

Everyone has a story to tell

Another nurse told me about his friends family, who had been disturbed at home by two burly men who smashed there way into the premises armed with baseball bats, and who had said they were looking for someone and ran off as quickly as they entered the house.

The day before I was speaking to someone who lives above shops and had bariccaded themselves in, whilst witnessing a robbery, and only emerged once police had arrived.

During my errands I spoke to a friend who works in our local Civic Centre who saw the rioters first hand grabbing brick form the wall and lobbing them into the windows.

What to do?

Clearly the police response is changing from day to day, Commissioner Godwin told my son that the police were taken by surprise in Monday. I have spoke to many people about how police deal with such incidents in other countries in Europe and beyond.  These range from public humiliation, armed response, community service to name but a few. The majority seem to be saying the response is multi-layered, with economic reasons, cultural and social factors playing a major role. But this is a discussion for another blog.

The riots have touched everyone in such a profound way. Perhaps we have realised that change is needed and now is the time. Perhaps we can help more young people have hopes, dreams and opportunities, respect for themselves and for others. Perhaps…

Postscript

Now that the rioters are being prosecuted, we see that the age range is from the young to 65years of age, and includes teaching assistants, nurses, and other people entrusted with people’s lives, education and welfare.

12 August 2011 Last updated at 18:47

England riots: What happened to the rioters in court?

It is not yet possible to do a detailed breakdown of the figures, as not all the data is available. The graphic below – based on information provided by Greater Manchester Police and City of Manchester magistrates’ court, and Nottinghamshire Police – gives a snapshot of what has happened to some of those charged so far:

 

 

 

 

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Table tennis – motivation and sports performance in schools- update

We are now a month into the programme and working with the young players and squad. We’ve established the goals and now working on some superb mental elements of the game.

We are growing a team of motivation coaches to continue the work into the competitive season.

Listen to the audio/video example of the coaching sessions we do. A masterclass is being developed to help interested coaches. Mental preparation and improving performance scripts are available for purchase on request. A newsletter is being prepared and we will give a monthly update of how we are getting on.

Some of the squad at the first session with the Head Coach

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Putting into practice the Seven Stages of Parenting

I discussed these on Redshiftradio.co.uk (link to recorded show)on 13th July 2011 as a guest, with Sharron Burrows of Hullabaloo kids

I also added a seventh stage, which I call the Growth stage. This stage starts as soon as one decides to be a parent, since we are on a journey of learning and discovery about how to be a parent, this stage starts at stage one and goes on all through the other stages. The Growth stage, is where we meet challenges, and learn and grow as people, where we develop lifelong skills and experiences, which help our children and other people around us. This is where we get the benefits and joys of every stage.

You can also check out the parenting styles for ideas about how parents communicate with children.

The full text can be found on original page here (at ehow.com)

    • 1

      Prepare for the coming of the baby during the Image Making stage. This stage occurs during pregnancy. Prospective parents begin to think about the coming birth of the baby and about being a parent. They prepare for changes in themselves and in their relationships with other important adults.

    • 2

      Compare expectations and the reality of parenting during the Comparing stage. This occurs from the baby’s birth to about 2 years of age. Parents compare what they expected the baby would be like and what they would be like as parents with reality. The parents become attached to the baby. The parenting role becomes confusing–just how much time to give to the baby’s demands versus other demands for time.

    • 3

      Decide on and enforce rules during the Authority stage. This stage occurs when the child is age 2 to 4 or 5. Parents decide what the rules are, when they are enforced and when they are broken. Most children become challenging during this stage, but parents must decide upon the rules most important to them and enforce them.

    • 4

      Show concern for the child’s perception of the parents in the Interpretive stage. This stage is from a child’s preschool years to adolescence. Parents are concerned with how their child sees them as parents, development of the child’s self-esteem and what kind of knowledge, skills and values to promote.

    • 5

      Maintain authority during the Independent stage. This stage occurs during the child’s teenage years. Issues of the Authority stage are again important and often require new solutions. A parent/almost-adult relationship is formed.

    • 6

      Evaluate the idea of a child leaving the home in the Departure stage. This occurs when the child leaves the home. Parents evaluate the images of departure such as when and how far away they thought their child would go, achievement of the parent/grown-child relationship they wanted and the overall parenting experience.

Tips & Warnings

  • Although these stages are not absolutely hard and fast, most parents experience each stage in some way during the rearing of a child. Each stage presents challenges, but moving from one stage to another represents growth and development as a parent. Use these stage explanations to help assist you in the parenting of your children as they grow.
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Parenting Styles

Parenting Styles

I discussed these on Redshiftradio.co.uk (link to recorded show)on 13th July 2011 as a guest, with Sharron Burrows of Hullabaloo kids

The Four Styles of Parenting

By , About.com Guide

(I have slightly summarised the article which can be found in full here  GN)

Researchers have uncovered convincing links between parenting styles and the effects these styles have on children.

parenting stylesParenting styles play an important role in child development.Image ©Joann Green/iStockPhoto

During the early 1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrind conducted a study on more than 100 preschool-age children (Baumrind, 1967). Using naturalistic observation, parental interviews and other research methods, she identified four important dimensions of parenting:

  • Disciplinary strategies
  • Warmth and nurturance
  • Communication styles
  • Expectations of maturity and control

Based on these dimensions, Baumrind suggested that the majority of parents display one of three different parenting styles. Further research by also suggested the addition of a fourth parenting style (Maccoby & Martin, 1983).

The Four Parenting Styles

    1. Authoritarian Parenting
      In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, “Because I said so.” These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children. According to Baumrind, these parents “are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation” (1991).
    1. Authoritative Parenting
      Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. Baumrind suggests that these parents “monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative” (1991).
    1. Permissive Parenting
      Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. According to Baumrind, permissive parents “are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation” (1991). Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.
  1. Uninvolved Parenting
    An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child’s basic needs, they are generally detached from their child’s life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

The Impact of Parenting Styles

What effect do these parenting styles have on child development outcomes? In addition to Baumrind’s initial study of 100 preschool children, researchers have conducted numerous other studies than have led to a number of conclusions about the impact of parenting styles on children.

    • Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem.
    • Authoritive parenting styles tend to result in children who are happy, capable and successful (Maccoby, 1992).
    • Permissive parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.
  • Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers.

Why Do Parenting Styles Differ?

After learning about the impact of parenting styles on child development, you may wonder why all parents simply don’t utilize an authoritative parenting style. After all, this parenting style is the most likely to produce happy, confident and capable children. What are some reasons why parenting styles might vary? Some potential causes of these differences include culture, personality, family size, parental background, socioeconomic status, educational level and religion.

Of course, the parenting styles of individual parents also combine to create a unique blend in each and every family. For example, the mother may display an authoritative style while the father favors a more permissive approach. In order to create a cohesive approach to parenting, it is essential that parents learn to cooperate as they combine various elements of their unique parenting styles.

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general parenting tips and advice – articles and resources

Here you can find tips, ideas and discussion  on parenting

76 parenting boredom busters

 Having a baby is a magical experience but even the most natural mum find herself suffering cabin fever from time to time. Here’s a rundown of easy and low-cost ways to keep your baby, toddler and pre-schooler happy when boredom strikes.

Reproduced with permission of Practical Parenting magazine.

Read more: 76 parenting boredom busters | iVillage UK http://www.ivillage.co.uk/76-parenting-boredom-busters/129473?nlcid=up%7C07-13-2011%7C#6#ixzz1SFRD3Dcj
Parenting: Information & advice

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/76-parenting-boredom-busters/129473?nlcid=up|07-13-2011|#6

 

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Road to success – essential ingredients

To achieve success it’s of vital importance to have a clear image or dream of what you want; to work at your dream consistently and to work on the tasks everyday (M. Joseph 2011). With those three things you then apply the activities below.

This summary is only a taster of what needs to be put in place.

The main things  are:-

  • Just do it
  • No excuses
  • Take the risk (calculated, okay)
  • Don’t let things that need doing pile up
  • Start with the small things
  • Don’t give up
  • If it isn’t working, try something different
  • Do something everyday
  • Do the things that add to achieving your dream
  • Do imagination exercises, to help achieve the focus and concentration
  • When you achieve success, don’t stop improving or just sit back
  • Don’t wait to feel in the right mood, just do it, because feelings follow behaviour
  •  Know what you want, and what you don’t want
  • Manage time, as applied on the above
  • Practice doing one thing at a time really well
  • Learn how to avoid being distracted
This is a taster of my new e-book about success – Road to Success Essential Ingredients. Everyone who requests it, will get the first chapter free. Plus an exclusive discount for all chapters. Contact me and I will put you on the list.
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